If your divorce was an unpleasant affair, then your ex is probably low on your list of people to spend time with. However, if you have children, you cannot avoid each other entirely. You need to find a way to communicate with each other and see each other in person whenever you swap the kids.
Parenting apps can help you communicate. They allow you to share a calendar or send messages to each other about your children. You can give access to others too, which is helpful if your parents help out with childcare. Some of the apps even measure the tone of the messages you send and suggest a politer alternative where needed to help keep things civil. Alternatively, stuff like Google allows you to create shared calendars or documents.
Custody handovers can be a particular source of conflict
If seeing your ex face to face is complicated, keeping the handover brief will help. That does not mean slowing down and throwing the kid and their bags out of a moving car. You are exchanging your child, not a hostage. Yet, by getting everything ready first, you can avoid unnecessary delays.
One tactic that works well is for the outgoing parent to drop the child off at the incoming parent’s house. That way, when you and your child are ready, and you can pull up outside, kiss them goodbye, then ring the other parent to say the child is approaching the door. If you do it the other way around, one parent has to sit outside and wait until the child is ready. It can also interrupt whatever is happening inside the house.
Sharing custody can be hard for all involved at first. Yet, if you work together, you can make it easier. Remember that your child is watching you, and any signs of conflict will make their life more difficult.