It’s very natural to feel a bit nervous to tell your spouse that you want to get a divorce. If you’re not sure if they also want one, or if you know that they don’t, you’re worried about their reaction.
At the same time, either person has the right to ask for a divorce if they want to leave a marriage, so you don’t need to worry about the divorce getting denied and you don’t want to let this nervousness keep you from pursuing your own goals. The key may just be to think about how you talk to your spouse and how you can make it go smoothly.
Do it when you have plenty of time
Don’t start this conversation right before you go to work or in the middle of an argument or disagreement. Plan it out carefully and pick a time when you know you can talk for as long as you need. This takes some of the pressure and stress out of the situation and makes it more of a two-way conversation.
Try to avoid other types of stress
People who are stressed often react more drastically to negative news. If your spouse is stressed about work or the holidays or anything else, you may want to delay talking to them until things have calmed down a bit.
Try not to blame them
You may actually blame your spouse for the divorce, and that’s fine. But you don’t want the conversation to seem like a chance for you to attack their character or tell them what they did wrong. Try to keep any blame to yourself and instead focus on stressing that you want to get a divorce and you want to move in a different direction. This way, they don’t get defensive, and they have an honest conversation
Once you do ask your spouse for the divorce, it’s time to begin considering all of the necessary legal steps to protect your post-divorce future.
