Belleville Family Law Blog

Once you decide in favor of divorce, you'll have questions and concerns about breaking the news to your family, friends and co-workers. While it's often easy to confide in your loved ones, the same doesn't always hold true at work.

Before we go any further, remember this: You're under no obligation to tell your co-workers about your personal affairs.

Divorce will alter your life in many ways, including your approach to estate planning. You must consider what would happen to your children in the event that you pass on before they reach the legal age of 18, and your ex is unavailable or unwilling to take on full custody.

You're not legally required to name a guardian in your estate plan, but doing so will give you peace of mind. Answering the following questions will allow you to make the right decision:

• Does the person have the same parenting style as you? You don't want your children to go through any unnecessary changes, so choosing a guardian with a similar parenting style is a must.
• Is it okay to consider multiple guardians? If you have more than one child, you may want to consider this idea. It's not ideal to break your children up, but it may be necessary if you don't want to put too much burden on one person or one couple.
• Is the person financially stable? Raising children is expensive, so you don't want to choose a guardian who's dealing with financial troubles. Adding children to the mix will only put more strain on them.
• Is the person young and healthy? Choosing a young and healthy guardian is a must, as you don't want to have any concerns about them not being able to take on the duty should the time come. For example, an older guardian is more likely to develop an illness that prohibits them from raising your children.
• Are you comfortable talking it over with the person? You shouldn't formally name a guardian in your estate plan until you first discuss it with them. If the person is completely on board, you can confidently proceed. However, if they have some concerns, it may be best to consider another route.

It's hard to reconcile addiction with competent parenting. Many alcoholics and addicts struggle mightily with their demons while retaining custody of their minor kids. But it's a sad fact that those who are most impacted by the struggle are the children.

An addict's struggles may only publicly surface when there is a change in their relationship status. A spouse may file for divorce or an intimate partner may end the relationship over the addict's continuing to use alcohol or drugs. That partner or spouse may then petition the court for custody, citing the addict's lack of fitness as a parent.

With the school year quickly coming to an end, there's no better time than now to plan a summer vacation with your children. While this sounds easy enough, you could run into custody-related challenges if you and your ex-spouse aren't on the same page in regard to your trip.

Here are three steps you can take to prevent a summer vacation dispute with your ex:

• Talk about it early on: Don't wait until the last minute to plan a vacation, but instead, get all the details in order as quickly as you can. Once you discuss the trip, you should then stick to the schedule that's in place.
• Review your custody agreement: It's possible that your custody or visitation agreement has some type of limitation, such as not being permitted to leave the country or state with your children.
• Let your children stay in touch: Not only will this make your ex feel better about the trip, but it will put your children at ease as well. From texts to phone calls to video chat, there's no point in cutting off communication between your children and your ex. Doing so will raise stress levels for everyone involved.