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Belleville Family Law Blog

Are you familiar with these signs of divorce?

While you never want to admit that you've spotted one or more warning signs of divorce, this may be the reality you're living. This should lead you to consider the finer details of your relationship, with an eye toward taking the right next step.

There are many warning signs of divorce, with these three among the most common:

  • You're unhappy: In simple terms, you're no longer happy with the life you're living. Maybe you argue with your spouse all the time. Or maybe you find it difficult to enjoy the things that once made you happy.
  • You avoid your spouse: There are many signs that you're doing this, such as staying late at work so you don't have to spend as much time at home. You may even get the feeling that you'd rather drive around in your car than go home to face your spouse.
  • Your family and friends have doubts: If others can see trouble with your marriage, there's a good chance something is going on. Get honest with yourself as you evaluate the good and bad associated with your marriage. Furthermore, don't get upset with loved ones for trying to help.

When addiction interferes with child custody

It's hard to reconcile addiction with competent parenting. Many alcoholics and addicts struggle mightily with their demons while retaining custody of their minor kids. But it's a sad fact that those who are most impacted by the struggle are the children.

An addict's struggles may only publicly surface when there is a change in their relationship status. A spouse may file for divorce or an intimate partner may end the relationship over the addict's continuing to use alcohol or drugs. That partner or spouse may then petition the court for custody, citing the addict's lack of fitness as a parent.

3 reasons to talk to your attorney before a divorce

Before you plan to divorce, you will probably have an idea that you want to separate from your spouse. Maybe they're not treating you well, or perhaps you've both just grown apart. Whatever the problem is, the reality is that you're interested in separating and getting a divorce.

While divorces are relatively straightforward, there are a few good reasons to talk to your attorney before you decide to divorce. Here are three reasons to head to your local attorney's office before talking to your spouse about divorce.

How to prevent a summer vacation dispute with your ex

With the school year quickly coming to an end, there's no better time than now to plan a summer vacation with your children. While this sounds easy enough, you could run into custody-related challenges if you and your ex-spouse aren't on the same page in regard to your trip.

Here are three steps you can take to prevent a summer vacation dispute with your ex:

  • Talk about it early on: Don't wait until the last minute to plan a vacation, but instead, get all the details in order as quickly as you can. Once you discuss the trip, you should then stick to the schedule that's in place.
  • Review your custody agreement: It's possible that your custody or visitation agreement has some type of limitation, such as not being permitted to leave the country or state with your children.
  • Let your children stay in touch: Not only will this make your ex feel better about the trip, but it will put your children at ease as well. From texts to phone calls to video chat, there's no point in cutting off communication between your children and your ex. Doing so will raise stress levels for everyone involved.

Social media and divorce: Don’t fall prey to these mishaps

In today's day and age, most people enjoy spending time on social media. From Twitter to Facebook to Instagram, there's no shortage of content to post and people to connect with.

There's nothing wrong with using social media during the divorce process, but you must be extremely careful about what you share with your audience. Here are three mistakes that many people make:

  • Sharing your private life: It's easy to vent on social media, especially since you don't have to talk to anyone face to face. Unfortunately, doing so can lead to more harm than good, as you're sharing intimate details with people who are close to you as well as those you don't know very well.
  • Posting incriminating information: For example, if you post images of you partying all weekend long, it will look bad on you when fighting for custody of your children.
  • Speaking poorly about your soon to be ex-spouse: Once again, you may be tempted to vent on social media. This is even more so the case if you know the other person will see it. Not only can negative comments impact your divorce, but it could also result in a serious defamation lawsuit if you take things too far.

Does a postnuptial agreement make sense?

As you move toward your wedding day, you may discuss the pros and cons of a prenuptial agreement with your partner. If you decide against creating this document, you could regret it at some point in the future.

Fortunately, you have another option to consider: a postnuptial agreement. A postnuptial agreement is similar to a prenuptial agreement, with the primary difference being that you create this after you tie the knot.

Don’t make one of these mistakes during or after your divorce

Once you decide to divorce, you may feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders. You may also turn your attention to the future, as you realize you now have full control over every decision you make.

While it's important to make key changes that allow you to live a better life, here are some mistakes you should avoid during or shortly after your divorce:

  • Drastic changes to your appearance: For example, don't rush into getting a tattoo or plastic surgery. These may be things you do in the future, but wait until you have a clear mind before making such a big decision.
  • Don't share too much with your ex-spouse: In the event that you still have contact with your ex, such as when co-parenting, it's important to stick to the essential details. There's no reason to share information on your personal life.
  • Don't overlook the power of counseling: Divorce will change your life in many ways, so it never hurts to speak with a counselor or therapist. A few conversations can help you better understand your feelings and how to cope with them.
  • Speaking out on social media: In today's world, it's often easier to share your thoughts on social media than it is in person. Don't bad-mouth your ex on social media, as doing so will cause more harm than good.

How will you deal with the stress of divorce?

Even if you're ready to move on from your marriage, it doesn't mean there's no stress associated with the divorce process. From property division to child custody, there are many details that have the potential to cause stress in your day-to-day life.

There are many ways to deal with divorce-related stress, including the following:

  • Stick to a healthy diet: You may be tempted to overeat or indulge in junk food, but this can actually make things worse on you. A healthy diet allows you to feel good, both physically and mentally.
  • Get more exercise: When you're down and out, a good workout has a way of making you feel better about yourself. You don't have to spend hours each day in the gym. Even if you only walk or jog around the block a few times, it can do wonders for your stress level.
  • Talk it out: There's no reason to keep all your stress inside. Talk about your divorce and your feelings with those in your support system. Sometimes a simple conversation is all it takes to help you feel better.
  • Get more sleep: Stress has a way of worsening when you're not getting enough sleep. Furthermore, sleep is essential to maintaining a high level of energy, which is what you need to make it through your divorce.

How can you use virtual visitation to your advantage?

As you go through the divorce process, you understand how important it is to keep your children in mind. You want to do whatever you can to provide a routine that allows them to avoid disruption in their day-to-day life.

If you're granted visitation rights, stick with your schedule to ensure yourself of spending quality time with your children. Also, consider other ideas for remaining a big part of their life, such as virtual visitation.

Five reasons to hire a divorce lawyer

In today's modern age, the "do it yourself" (DIY) craze is in full swing. From home improvement projects to estate planning to divorce, many people assume they can tackle complex projects and issues on their own.

A DIY divorce is never a good idea, as there is a lot you don't know about the law in Illinois. Rather than go down this path, it's best to hire an experienced and knowledgeable divorce lawyer who can guide you through the process from start to finish.

When you are ready to discuss your legal issue with an experienced Illinois lawyer, we will be here for you.

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Johnson, Johnson, & Nolan
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Belleville, IL 62220

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