Has anyone ever told you to "not be so emotional" when you're talking to them? It may have just enraged you, especially if you are discussing something that is important to you. And nothing is more important than your connections to your life and your children. So how can you avoid saying something you shouldn't say?
What sort of statements should people avoid in court?
Although divorces can be civilized matters after people have already decided how they feel, the process can be demoralizing. Things that were part of a relationship are now matters for individuals with privacy, and evidence of arguments or disagreements can go from trivial to material evidence in court.
The government in Springfield is considering a new law to protect people during divorces from intrusions into their personal data. This comes after a report shows how the Illinois Tollway Authority released personal travel information of people when it was subpoenaed by a civil court.
When people get divorced and they have never been through the process before, there is often a large focus on figuring out what they need to do. They want to know what steps to take, what options they have, what obligations they have and what tactics to use.
You do need to look into all of this, but it's also wise to look at the other side of the coin: what you shouldn't do. And what you really should not do is buy into some common divorce myths and let them influence your actions. That could result in serious mistakes that you can't fix after the fact. Here are a few myths to look out for:
It's a given truth that parents care about their children, even when they have problems of their own. But the needs of kids can take an accidental back seat during separation, divorce and other situations that demand a court case. This is one of the reasons that Illinois is making it easier for state officials to check up on children at risk with a set of new laws in 2020.
Child abuse is one of the largest concerns for parents and social workers. House Bill 909, passed in Springfield as the Children's Advocacy-Interview Act, now allows interviewers to record sessions with children who are suspected abuse victims without the consent of parents or guardians. This may help uncover unconfirmed cases of abuse.
Children need all the protections that the state of Illinois can provide. This is especially true if divorced parents or absent parents complicate matters by being less available than other family structures. When it comes to divorce or orphaned children, an entire state department in Springfield is dedicated to helping them.
Laws regarding child custody and protection can change due to lawmakers' belief that they need to be updated. As we move into 2020, an important law governing child care and responsibility is coming into force.
It may be sad, but it is certainly true that more married couples are getting divorced than ever before. This is not just affecting newlyweds. Some people are divorcing as they approach the age to collect Social Security payments. And the act of ending a marriage may have an effect on how much people receive when they are ready.
Divorced spouses are often entitled to a payment equal to half of the ex-spouse's full retirement amount. This is the case when people wait until their full retirement age to begin collecting benefits. It also is contingent on people receiving benefits under their own name first.
With the holidays fast approaching, divorced Belleville parents may be gearing up for another round of arguments over custody arrangements. This is especially true for those who may have just separated recently and who have no binding custody order in force.
No parent wants to be the holiday Scrooge, dealing with custody hassles when you'd rather be trimming the tree, baking Christmas cookies or wrapping gifts. Custody disputes can turn happy holiday celebrations into battlegrounds where nobody is the winner — least of all, the kids.
Parents spend a lot of time worrying about the welfare of their children. This concern can become more than a passing thought during separation, divorce and other difficult life events that unduly affect children's lives. But, sometimes, everyday threats to children's safety can cause alarm as well as legal action.
Parents and caretakers in Illinois are worried about a state law allowing school personnel to isolate children as a disciplinary measure. Secluding students in separate spaces in what is called an "isolated timeout," which could be considered a legitimate move while trying to deal with difficult students.
If you're a parent, you were probably already thinking about the safety of your children before this sentence reminded you to do it. Where are they? What are they doing? Is someone looking after them? If these questions are unanswered, they can gnaw at you whether children are in trouble or not.
These questions can hover in your mind a lot when you are not used to seeing your children as much, which is often the case with divorced parents. Child custody arrangements can take offspring away from a mother or father for days or weeks at a time. If you're worried about the other parent's behavior, it may feel limiting to the point of mental anguish.
Divorce is often the conclusion when a pair of people who have committed to each other find themselves, either gradually or suddenly, with nowhere to turn. Although ending a marriage is not necessarily a bad choice, the process can be expensive for financial assets and taxing on emotional strength as well.
But it doesn't have to be this way. There are several options on how people can separate, build independent accounts and settle on rights and responsibilities for child custody. While traditional divorce can pit people against each other in a legal conflict, Illinois residents have options that are less damaging.
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Johnson, Johnson, & Nolan
11 South High Street
Belleville,
IL
62220
Toll Free:
888-628-8977
Phone:
618-207-4137
Fax:
618-277-1184
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