If you’ve ever heard someone say that they are staying together for the kids, they’re talking about a situation in which they want to get divorced. However, since they have children, they believe that it is best for the kids if they don’t get divorced. They think this is the ideal living situation and gives the children the best chance to develop.
However, any studies suggest that this is a misconception. It comes from the idea that children do better academically and in other ways, developmentally speaking, when both parents are involved in their lives. This fact has caused people to assume that divorce is always bad for the children. Some couples decide to stay married, thinking that they’re doing the best thing for their kids.
But are they?
Staying involved with the kids is more important than staying in a high-conflict marriage
For one thing, it’s important to note that involvement in the children’s lives is what’s really crucial here. Two co-parents can still create an ideal living situation where they’re both involved with their child. They can share time, offer stability and support, and raise children who have all of the same developmental and academic traits as those from families with married parents. Being married is not what helps children develop. Being involved is.
Another thing to know is that children who are trapped in high-conflict homes can often see negative ramifications. So if two people are “staying together for the children” but arguing and running into a lot of conflict on a daily basis, the stress that this creates can actually mean that it’s worse for the children than if they simply got divorced.
If you’re getting divorced and you want to put your children first, the key is to take the time to look and all of your child custody options to create the ideal situation.